I used to think the biggest life lessons I learned on a daily basis involved diapers, red fruit punch and Johnny-jump-ups…. not particularly in relation to one another… My life, although its not really a bad thing, revolved around my children. All I thought about were them, what they needed, what they wanted, how I could help them learn and grow. The flaw in this way of living is that I spent SO much time thinking about them, I forgot about me. this is not to say that individualized Life Lessons have not been flashing before my very eyes…I just have not been paying attention to them. Oops.
This last week I have actually been spending some time doing things I want to do and leaving the kids home, or even bringing them with and allowing them to share the experience with me. It is definately funny to me how they choose to handle watching Mommy do things for herself. My daughter asked me a few weeks ago when I drove down to visit my old High School, “Mommy…. are we gonna leave you here?” lol clearly because She gets left at school all day it made sense to her that I would stay as well. It didnt make sense that we were just there to visit, that Mommy didnt go to this school anymore…I had a feeling she wouldnt really understand, which would normally have led me to leave her home and go at a time that was more convenient to go alone, or not go at all. But it was something I wanted to do for me.
Anyway, Today I went on a hike. Ive been DYING to go on a hike, nature walk….whatever you want to call it…. and seeing everyones pictures of Yosemite and their own local nature hikes have left me craving some good ole time with God and the great outdoors (couldnt hurt to thrown in some good friends as well). when the opportunity arose I took it. I almost didnt go because Eric wasnt able to join me. I thought for sure he was going to get a phone call telling him he had to be at work and I would have to come home before we even started. I was bummed that instead of having a sitter he stayed home with the kids and I went with this group of people that I really didnt know. I was bummed that he couldnt be a part of the experience, but oh well Thats how ourlife works lol.
I challenged myself. I showed up even though part of me really wanted to stay home. I introduced myself and got to know people that were strangers to me (even if they did happen to know my name was Rabecca already lol). I struggled to hold back and not bombard them with my life’s story; problems and joys. It has honestly been awhile since Ive met someone who didnt already know a bit about me from the begining. AND HONESTLY, that may not sound like a challenge, but if you knew me…. you would know thatf for me, it is very difficult to not unintentionally go on and on and on and on about my kids. I could tell stories for days. I could be wrong but id like to think the stories of my kids/family were fairly even with anyone else’s. 🙂
ON the hike I tried to take in the beauty of the surroundings and the amazing power of God with each new view and sight to behold, of course on the downhill it ended up pretty steep and hard to focus on anything but your feet and not tripping over them….maybe that was jsut me lol. Once at the bottom we heard the trickling stream, then the thunder of the waterfall. it was marvelous to climb around the rocks and look upon this creek and small body of water and the indescribable beauty of the waterfall. we all jumped in and swam around; jumping off rocks, swinging on rope swings, sunbathing on the walls, having fellowship is such an awesome wonderful place of God. For a brief moment I though, “nah, i wont go in” I hate standing water like lakes and ponds…..ill swim in the ocean but not a lake…. the algae/moss just creeps me out…. I dont do slimy… then seeing little strange looking fish darting around in this water made me even more unsure. For some reason I ignored my insecurities and went in anyway. I am very happy that I did. The cold water took my breath away but it was wonderful.
we sat and ate lunch and enjoyed the sun for a bit then prepared for our trip back up. I knew from having just hiked DOWN that going UP was going to be a huge challenge. I knew I was out of shape from first having the kidney transplant to just having a baby…its been a while since ive been active enough to say im in shape….. but I was not expecting it to be as hard as it truly was for me. Ive always had issues with breathing right; when running the mile, working out, having a baby…. my breathing is always off or I forget to breathe haha. This was no different. The trip down gave me the gift of wonderful blisters on the sides of my big toes and they were not looking forward to the tip up hill…. my body reacted the same way to the incline and constant sun beating down on us. No matter how hard I tried to catch my breath and focus on getting to our end destination I couldnt. In most situations like this I panic. I give up and panic. It was such a struggle to keep going and keep pushing through the idea of just quitting and letting someone come get me. it was a struggle to not stop and sit when thats all my body was telling me to do… a struggle to push through not being able to breathe and feeling light headed, a struggle to feel like I was holding everyone back and coping with the reality that in this situation I was the weak link. Realistically I know it was ok. I was with a wonderful group of people that half stayed with me and encouraged me and kept me focused and positive in my weakest moments, and the other half waited patiently at the top worrying about if I was ok. The compassion and encouragement I was shown today has taught me so much….Thank You so much you guys!
Its quite funny because I walked through the front door telling my husband all about this experience and how I am convinced that I now have asthma because I just couldnt go up the incline without losing my breath and struggling to breath and that I barely made it out of there and he says, “No you are just out of shape.” lol I suppose I should face the truth but dang!! way to burst my bubble lol. Although I am definately not ready to turn right around tomorrow and attempt that hike again, I would suggest it to anyone looking for a challenge in every way. who knew a simple nature walk/ hike would bring upon such important life lessons?! 🙂
4 Replies to “Life Lessons”
i looooooove that you came!! i would’ve been in the same boat of wanting to bail from not knowing anyone, but i knew you would like my friends. 🙂 and we were all very impressed that you made it up that atrocious hill! when we were waiting we were all very in awe of the fact that you just pushed out a baby less than two months ago and you were doing it. i never would’ve attempted that! so, you did the best out of anyone in my opinion. 🙂
hahahaha thanks. Good to know I have a legitimate excuse to be so slow 🙂 I just wish I had been prepared to be THAT out of shape lol. Maybe I could have started the uphill an hour or so before everyone that way you guys wouldnt have had to wait so long @ the top for me. I think I felt worse because I was the driver and you guys HAD to wait lol. oh well. next time ill do even better 🙂
you shouldn’t have felt bad about that. we found the perfect place to rest that was in the shade. it was a nice recovery for us. 🙂 we weren’t impatient!
Glad to hear you did this Rabecca. Sometimes you need to do things for yourself, otherwise your kids will grow up, and you’ll look back on all those years having only been there for the kids. My son has been in Navy boot camp for 5 weeks now. I miss him very much, and because of my situation, I work 3 jobs just to keep a roof over our heads for 7 years, I did nothing during that time but work and sleep. Well I did manage to workout for about a year and got into the best shape of my life, but then fell off of that, and you saw the result of that when we met with Josh at Sea World. I was terrified that I was going to have past all the tests, but have been turned down as an organ donor because of my weight. I have lost 35 pounds since January, but stagnated, and now haven’t been to the gym in a month.