is it possible for my 1yr old to be having transferred nightmares?  As in, my stress and my fears are being transferred to her and she is having nightmares about them??  This didn’t occur to me until today when I sat down after all the kids were in bed.  I looked around and the living room was relatively picked up, the bathroom was spotless, the kitchen was better than it was this morning…everything was quiet in the house and yet I couldn’t relax. I feel like I am drowning.

It feels like I am being pulled by an incredibly strong rip current and i’m struggling to keep my head above water.  When I should be recognizing the fact that I did good today and got a lot done, I am simply thinking of the 8million other things that I still need to do.

I have to print my paperwork to renew my CNA license

I have to still print the forms to send to Utah State for my student loans

I need to type up my “formal” resume for Azusa to put in my portfolio

I need to email and meet with my event planner for my anniversary celebration

I need to get my save the date cards printed and mailed

I have to send out a bunch of emails for Kidney Kasino June 2012 and our online Auction for Nat. Kidney Month in March.

I need to get supplies for all the valentines day stuff Haylee want’s to do before her party

I need to think of something cute and thoughtful to send to Eric

I have to get something for a last minute baby shower this weekend

I have to figure out what the heck I want to do for my birthday since I actually get one this year!

I need to figure out what the heck to do for Kaelob’s

I need to finish my observation essay and my reflection questions for tomorrows class

I need to finish sewing the last gift for Adrianna so I can mail her Christmas/Birthday gifts before its Christmas again!

I need to get groceries

I have to get my car fixed…not sure when or how it will be done, but it’s still something on my mind.

I have to figure out how to get these night terrors to stop so sweet baby Peytne can get better sleep

I need to fix the shed for the goats

I need to clean out the chicken coop

I need to move the daddy bunny to his new cage

I have to get more feed from the feed store

I have to call the pest people for my grandma and make sure they are coming friday

I need to get dogfood

I have to email kaelob’s teacher the video link to the dolphin video so he can show his friends in class

I need to…I have to… .

So many things I’ve been putting off because I thought March or June or July even were just soooooo far away, but now they have crept up on me and I am not ready. I hate being unprepared. I hate feeling rushed. I hate feeling like I am drowning because there’s just too many things to think about and so many things I need to take care of and do within a certain amount of time.

Ugh, okay deep breath….here we go. I can knock off a few of these tonight.

3 Replies to “Drowning in the Water”

  1. “prioritize” is all i can say. some of those things don’t sound like they need to happen immediately. i always have that battle with my to-do list, and since trying to rid myself of all the stress, i’ve had to reach a point that i say “oh well.” or “it’ll just have to get done another day.” i’m praying for you. <3

  2. Such a large list! It is overwhelming when you list things but there’s always a new day. New mercies roll over for the next day. Give yourself some grace to be able to say “ok, didn’t get it all done but it will get done”. Just hang in there. Take it one step at a time and just woosah when necessary!

  3. yeah, the struggle is just that it seems so overwhelming when the continually pop into my head bc even tho they dont need to be taken care of immediately they are still there, lingering around like unfinished business and it makes me feel like I am not getting anything done lol and I dont mind saying oh well or letting it go for another day but the thought that its now a week into February and soon it will be March, oye. where has the time gone?? 🙂

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