…Things have felt rather strange lately. I caught myself talking with a new friend the other day and we discussed the usual; kids, kidney disease, family… life.
But I found I wasnt talking about school, I wasnt talking about fundraisers and working with various foundations that I have advocated for unconditionally over the last decade. I talked about produce, harvesting, soil consitency, pest control, cooking and animal manure….
I am changing, it is fall and everything is beautifully turning vibrant reds oranges and yellows. I feel busy and vibrant, I feel like my colors are changing. My life is changing with the leaves….
I dont go to the gym any more, I till soil and pull weeds. I dont write essays and do homework, I study planting calendars and recipes. I drive kids to school and spend my day folding laundry, doing dishes and scrubbing floors. My mornings start before the sun rises with alfalfa in my pockets, spider webs in my face and the smell of coffee in the air.
I have all these things I still dream of doing; most things I neither have the money nor the time to actually do…but it’s nice to dream sometimes isnt it?
I would love to play in a band again. I bumped into an older gentleman at my church a few months ago and he was part of an orchestra, I cant remember which one, but he casually invited me to join their group and play…as if it were nothing to audition and be accepted into their musically talented group of adults. It has been SO long since Ive had anyone listen to me play, much less have to keep to a 4/4 beat or play something in the key of B… (the easier ones might I add) My best friend walked into an audtion for an orchestra in Tampa after not having touched her instrument in YEARS and snagged a 3rd chair position. I envy her. I was never that good back in the day, much less now over a decade later… but I enjoyed playing, it made me happy. Music is such beautiful therapy… I need some therapy in my life. 🙂 maybe one day.
I have all these things I want to learn how to make… I want to make soap, I want to knit again, I want to take cooking classes, I want to work with these pesky puppies and teach them some common obedience stuff, I want to get in shape and shed these pounds that snuck up on me somehow, I want to write more…maybe that book everyone keeps telling me to write, I want to sew, I want to go hiking and exploring, I want to start a vlog, I want to learn more about couponing, I want to re-landscape the front yard, I want to raise tilapia, I want a brick oven, I want to join a book club, I want to spend more time enjoying my kids and loving life…
I have all these things I want to do, but in the strangeness of life changing I haven’t quite settled on a routine that allows for all these dreams to come true. I fill my days doing things for my children, family or friends and husband and then fit in something for me if there’s time. I may not know who I am right now or how to find time to achieve all that I am looking at, but I’ll get there ….this is just the begining, right?