I smelled his old sweater today..

…like a cold winter’s wind in my face

 The pain gets caught in my throat

The hidden tears burn my eyes

And I realize, I am sitting alone

In this empty space.

Some days I can hear his voice

Or see that familiar heart warming smile

Suddenly I feel the stinging pain again

I am filled with the emptiness, I am left with the pain.

I am not in denial.

It feels like it will never end

  Burning tears well up again in my eyes

My voice catches sharply in my throat,

While flashing memories remind me of who he was:

Strong, Compassionate, Selfless and Wise.


It just can’t be real.

The man that was the foundation of our family

the man who taught me everything I know and loved me unconditionally

The man who taught me patience, the man who showed me courage

The man who gave me a better life…

I look around at the room untouched

I see his glasses on the nightstand;

I remember the moment I took them from his face for the last time.

I fold the sweater and holding it to my face, I inhale,

I place it gently back onto the dresser and walk out.

…it just cant be real.

September 11 2011

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